How different would your life be if you stopped trying to control the things you cannot control and started focusing on what you can control? What would happen if you surrendered to God the people and the situations that you cannot control?

We are going to look at the resurrection of Jesus, but I want to talk to those who are here today who might feel discouraged, overwhelmed, and you feel like your life is out of control. You might find yourself feeling anxious, nervous, afraid, or uncertain.

  • You are uncertain about the future of your marriage.
  • You are anxious about what is going on with your health.
  • You are concerned about retirement and your finances.
  • You worry about your kids growing up in this world or making poor decisions that will hurt them for the rest of their life.
  • You are afraid that you are going to be alone and lonely for the rest of your life.

There are situations and people who are out of your control, and you don’t know what to do about it. You want to change and control the situation, but you can’t. It’s out of your control. You want to change and control the person, but you can’t. They are out of your control. Here is a truth we need to let sink in: The circumstances we ask God to change are often the circumstances God is using to change us. Often times, the things that are out of our control are the things that God is using to change us and grow us and mature us to be more like Jesus.

Before we dive into God’s Word, let’s pray. “Heavenly Father, on this Resurrection day, when we celebrate your Son, Jesus, we ask that the resurrection power available to us would conquer the fears that we have. For all those who feel like life is out of control, may we find the blessings of fully surrendering to your Son, Jesus, our King, our Savior, and our Lord. We pray this in Jesus’ name, amen.”

Setting the Context

We are in Matthew 26 today. I want to try to set the context for you.

  • This was before the crucifixion; Jesus is having His last meal with the disciples and closest friends. He was having a very heartfelt conversation with them.
  • He knew what was about to happen, but His disciples did not. He knew He was about to endure severe agony, humiliation, pain, suffering, and the wrath of the Heavenly Father against all sin. He knew the torture He would have to endure for His disciples and for people like you and me.
  • He is sitting at the table with His disciples. Judas is there and Jesus knew Judas was going to betray him that night.
  • He takes the bread and breaks it, and can you imagine the emotion that He must have felt, when Jesus took this broken bread and said, “This is my body,” representing the sacrifice He is about to make for them.
  • Then Jesus held up a cup full of wine and said, “This is my blood of the new covenant. This represents my blood, which will be shed for you.” Then Jesus said, “Whenever you gather together in years to come, do this in remembrance of Me.”

Because Jesus knew what He was about to go through and endure, He had something on His mind He needed to go talk to the Heavenly Father about. So, He got up and took His disciples with Him to a place called Gethsemane, which means the crushing, and He said to His closest friends, “Hey guys, sit here while I go pray. We are going to pray and we are going to praise. We are going to keep our guard up, so stay awake, pray and keep watch.”

My soul is overwhelmed

This brings us to Matthew 26:37 where we are given insight into the humanity of Jesus. He and His disciples have arrived at Gethsemane and its late at night and we read this, He began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then He said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death….” Think about what Jesus is doing here. Jesus is this strong and confident person. He has confronted the enemies and won. He has confronted demons and they obeyed Him. He faced the devil in the wilderness and overcame him. He has denied sin and selfishness perfectly. He is bold, courage, strong, and has a holy confidence. At this moment, his full humanity is being on display. He is opening up and becoming vulnerable. He is sharing his heart and emotions and struggles with the people who are the closest to him. He says, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death….”

We are not told how they reacted, but what we are told is nothing. Have you ever opened up your heart to someone about your sorrow or pain or hurt and they didn’t know what to do with it? They may have come across as if they didn’t care, didn’t understand, or were interested in your pain. I wonder if Jesus felt unloved at that moment and uncared for?

 Regardless of how Jesus’ closest friends reacted, he was “overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death.” Have you ever felt like that? Maybe you feel like that now. You are overwhelmed with anxiety, worry, grief, doubt, depression, or fear. Jesus is overwhelmed with sorrow so much that the Bible tells us He started sweating drops of blood. Have you ever been hurting so bad, that you thought you were going to die? That’s Jesus. He is in pure emotional agony at this moment.

Then Jesus tells His disciples, “Stay here and keep watch with me. Going a little further, He fell with His face to the ground and prayed, ‘My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will but as you will” (NIV).

The cup Jesus is referring to was known as the cup of suffering. Jesus is saying, “What I am about to suffer and endure over the next several hours, would You remove that from Me, God? I really don’t want to go through that. I know what’s coming. I’m begging You. I’m overwhelmed to the point of death. Please take this cup and burden from Me.” Then Jesus says something amazing. He says, “Yet, not as I will, but as you will.” Incredible.

After talking to the Heavenly Father, we are told, “Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping…. I’m visualizing Jesus saying, “I gave you one job. One job, stay awake, and you couldn’t even do the one thing.” Now, in their defense, sometimes it is a little difficult to stay awake when you are praying. But here, Jesus comes back, and He says, “I need you to be with me. Stay awake and watch. I gave you one job.” And they let Him down.

Jesus could not control His disciples

What’s amazing to me about that little scene is that Jesus has the power to raise the dead, heal the sick, calm the storm, walk on water, and cast out demons, but He could not control His disciples.

I’m curious, how many of you like to be in control? You like to control the remote, control the car so you drive all the time, you like to control your children, you like to control the money, you like to control your relationships. The house has to be a certain way. You like to control where you go on vacation and what you do. You like to control information. You find some kind of peace in controlling things. You might say, “I’m not really controlling. I’m just aggressively helpful. I’m just thoroughly organized.” You are so controlling, you make coffee nervous. I can feel some of you right now saying, “I’m not controlling,” but you really are. We all are in some degree.

Losing Control = Grieving

Before we move any further, I need you to understand this truth: losing control = grief. When people realize they have lost control, they go into a state of grieving. You no longer can do what you want to do or what you used to do. You grieve because you can no longer control what’s happening with your health or control what’s happening at work or control what’s happening with your marriage or children or school. The list of losing control can go on and on. When a person loses something, they grieve the loss of it. When you lose control you will experience grief. Are you grieving something that you have loss control of?

Control vs Surrender

Jesus shows us this truth: the answer for the need to control is surrender. We see Jesus offering up a prayer before God that demonstrates the most powerful words of surrender. We see this in verse 42, “He went away a second time and prayed….” We are going to see that surrender is not always a one-time event. Sometimes, you got to go back to God another time to get it right and to deal with your emotions about it. He goes a second time and prays, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done” (NIV). Jesus is saying, “If we can do it a different way, I’d love to do it a different way, yet not my will, but your will be done.”

Listen carefully, to those of you who have felt the desperate need to control, I hope you will embrace this truth: You don’t always have the power to control, but you always have the power to surrender. You don’t always have the power to control everything, but you do always have the power to surrender. It is hard to surrender when life is out of control. It is hard to surrender when you are asking, “Where is God in the middle of my chaos? My pain? My hurt? My loneliness? Where is God when things seem out of control? Doesn’t God care?” Then you start feeling that overwhelming need and desire to control the situation or the person.

God’s will is not always easy

Even when you are seeking God’s will, trying to follow Jesus, trying to do life right, trying to do life God’s way… life can still be hard. I hope that you will understand, when it comes to God’s will, God’s will is rarely easy, but it is always good. It’s rarely easy, but always good. It may not feel good in the moment, but our God is working all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. His will for your life is rarely easy, but it’s always good.

Mary

Doing God’s will wasn’t easy at all for Jesus, but it wasn’t easy for Jesus’ mom either. The Bible tells us that an angel appears to her and says, “You are going to give birth to a son. His name is going to be Jesus and He’s going to be the Savior of the world.” She prays a very similar prayer that Jesus would pray later. She prays, “May your will be done.” She says, “May it be done unto me according to your word.” I surrender. Whatever your will is, God, I want your will.

Doing God’s will was not easy for her. At first Joseph, her finance, thought she had an affair and was going to leave her, but God changed his mind. He stayed. She gives birth to Jesus, then years later she would watch her son be falsely accused, stripped naked, suffering for sins He did not commit. She would watch him be humiliated over and over again. She would watch him be tortured. She would watch him breathe his last breath from the cross and she couldn’t do anything about it. She had no control over the situation. God’s will is not always easy, but it’s always good.

Jesus

Think about Jesus. He never wronged anybody. He was always perfectly in God’s will. He was completely without sin, holy, and perfect in every way. He was betrayed by one of His own, handed over, beaten without mercy. When they beat him, they would have had big signet rings on their fingers. They punched Him in the face again and again. Then they took a whip with sharp stones and broken glass attached to it they whipped his back with it, ripping his skin off and you could see some of his internal organs. Then they made Him carry part of His cross through town while people mocked Him. Then they nailed Him to the cross driving large spikes through His wrists and feet. This man they did all this to was innocent. He did nothing but love people, heal people, teach people, and showed compassion and forgiveness. But they spat on Him and cursed Him.

Jesus had the power to take control, but He didn’t

What’s interesting is Jesus had the power to take control, but He didn’t. He could have called a bunch of angels to come to His rescue, change the situation, and wipe out everyone who was hurting Him and mocking Him. He could have taken control, but instead He chose to surrender. God’s will is not always easy, but it’s always good.

And what did Jesus do? When the creation was mocking the Creator, He looked up into heaven, scorning the shame of the Cross, and

  • He prayed, “Father, please forgive them. They don’t even know what they are doing.” That was an act of surrender.
  • He said, “It’s finished. I’ve done what you set me to do.” That was an act of surrender.
  • And in the ultimate act of surrender, Jesus said, “Into your hands I commit my Spirit.” And He gave His life for you and me. God’s will is not always easy, but it’s always good.

The world went dark. The earth shook. The temple veil ripped, and the disciples scattered. God’s will is not always easy, but three days later, our God showed that He is always good. When some women went to check on the tomb, and they arrived, the stone that was meant to protect the body inside the tomb was not there. It had been rolled away, and when they looked inside the tomb, the body of Jesus, it was not in the tomb, because our God raised Jesus from the dead, defeating death, hell, and the power of the grave. God’s will is not always easy, but it’s always good.

Before there was salvation for us, there was the sacrifice for Him. Before we could be saved, He had to surrender. It wasn’t easy, but our God is good, and why did God do this? So that anyone, and this includes you, wherever you are, could call on the name that is above every name, that name of Jesus, the name at which every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that He is Lord. And what will our God in heaven do? He will forgive your sins. He will heal your brokenness. He will remove your shame. He will make you brand new. You are not just a better version of you, you are different. The old is gone because of the amazing grace of the goodness of God. Our God did something for you, you could never, ever do for yourself. You couldn’t save yourself. You couldn’t be good enough. You couldn’t be righteous enough. You couldn’t be religious enough. And that’s why God sent Jesus, who was without sin, who became sin for us on the cross, and shed His innocent blood, that we could be forgiven.

As the church we are hope-dealers, light-spreaders, love-givers. That’s what we are, because of the grace of Jesus. You don’t always have the power to control, but you do always have the power to surrender.

Surrender is not giving up; it is giving over

The question is this. What are you trying to control that you need to surrender? What are you trying to control that our God wants you to surrender? Is it a relationship? Is it your health? The health of someone that you love? Is it your finances? Your job? Your bank account? Is it your future, what’s going to happen? What are you trying to control that’s not yours to control?

You need to understand this powerful truth, Surrender is not giving up; it is giving over to a wisdom greater than our worry.

One of the things I realized is that there’s really no such thing as partial surrender. If I say, “I surrender” and there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to, there’s no such thing as partial surrender. You can’t say kind of like, “I’m 83% surrendered to Jesus.” That’s like telling your spouse, “I’m faithful to you 90% of the time.” You are either faithful or you are not. You are either surrendered or you are not. You can’t say, “I’ll trust you with some things, but I won’t trust you with all things.” Like, “I will trust you to save me, but I’m not going to trust you with my kids. I’ve got to control my kids.” “I’m going to trust you to get me to heaven, but I’m not going to trust you with my job or my health or my loved one or my money or my future.”

Between the IF and the YET

To understand surrender the way Jesus did, we need to understand two very important words Jesus used before going to the cross, before going to the tomb, and before He was resurrected. It’s the words IF and YET. In Matthew 26:39, Jesus cried out to God, “My Father, IF it’s possible may this cup be taken from me. [If you can do this in any other way, I want you to do it that way]. YET not as I will, but as you will” (NIV). In other words, real faith starts between the IF and the YET.

  • God, IF you can heal me of this disease.
  • God, IF you can give me someone to love.
  • God, IF you could restore my marriage.
  • God, IF you can get me out of this valley.
  • God, IF it’s possible, could you take this burden off of my shoulders.
  • YET, not my will, but your will be done.

Somewhere between the IF and the YET, is surrender.

  • IF represents what you want. YET represents what God’s wants.
  • IF represents your will. YET represents God’s will.
  • To get from your will to God’s will, you must surrender your will.

You don’t always have the power to control, but you always have the power to surrender. Here’s the problem. Everything in our culture invites us, begs us, lures us to live in a way that’s contrary to the Gospel. Culture tells us, you take control. You be in charge. You make it happen. But Jesus said this in Matthew 10:39. He said, “If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it” (NLT). In other words, to really follow Jesus is to surrender control.

Surrender is not a one-time event. Surrender is a daily choice. Jesus said that we are to take up our cross daily and we are to die daily. That’s another way of saying we surrender. Here is a truth that I have discovered along the way, God can do way more with your surrender than you can do with your control. You don’t always have the power to control, but you do always have the power to surrender.

Conclusion

Before the resurrection of Jesus there was the surrender of Jesus. The Lord’s surrender brought about life where there was death. Before the miracle the surrender. Is it possible that God’s provision, God’s miracle, God’s power and life are waiting on you to surrender?

My question for you is, What are you trying to control that you need to surrender to God? Whatever it is that you are trying to control, give it to Him. His will is not always easy, but He’s always good. Jesus suffered, He died, and God raised Him from the dead, and because of that, I worship a good heavenly Father, who will never leave you and never forsake you. You don’t always have the power to control, but you always have the power to surrender. The best place for you to be is in the center of God’s will.

Let me suggest to you to surrender to Jesus. If you haven’t already, surrender your heart and life to Jesus. Call out to Him saying, “Lord, I surrender. I give over my life to you. I need your forgiveness. I need your healing. I need your help. I need you to save me from my sins. I need you to be the Lord and Savior of my life. I surrender all that I am to you.”